Everyone seemed a bit off....

You knew this was coming....my official run-down of the Academy Awards and all things fashion from Sunday night.  Also, I want to start out by saying....the following blog will make me sound like a snob.  And mean.  A like a brat.  I like to think I am entitled to an opinion, and a strong one at that, regarding Hollywood and how they dress.  I like to randomly spout opinions at the television, as if I were a stylist from afar.  I love fashion, and the Academy Awards bring out the best of the best...usually.  This year was an exception.  I felt as if there weren't too many standout stars, and I found myself wanting to change one thing about numerous looks walking down the carpet, starting with.....

Kate.  My fave.  Such a disappointment.  Usually #1 on my list, and she quickly fell down about 20 notches.  This wasn't the Academy Awards in 3009 - why is she trying to look all futuristic?  Grey and black, weird lace sash down the side, and crazy slick-rick bun/roll of hair in the back.  Not impressed.  Sigh.  


Marissa.  What is with the random extra bit of fabric thrown over your shoulder?  Would have looked better as a strapless.  Love the pleating though - nice job Versace.  Minus the extra fabric you didn't know what to do with.  


Meryl.  No one looks attractive in bland grey.  Any other color and your skin tone probably wouldn't have looked bland grey as well.


SJP.  Loved the "barely mint" dress, perfect silhouette for your petite little frame.  Seriously though with the harsh center part?  You hair is the same shape as your skirt, and I have major issues with that.  Even a side part would have mixed it up a bit.  Don't do A-line twice in one look ever again.  


Heidi.  Stop with the slicked down hair immediately if not sooner.  Fluff it up a bit!  I wasn't a huge fan of the origami dress, and she needed to exercise a little restraint while standing over her jewelry box.     

Alicia.  Almost perfect, just a little excessive on the slit.  I think it was a bit high, and not flattering on her.  Love the color, love the hair, just a few more stitches and it would have been perfection.  

Miley.  You are not Rue McClanahan from the Golden Girls.  Such a bummer that your stylist put you in a dress for a 72 year old women.  I believe last time I checked you were supposed to be "young Hollywood." Wrong color and way too many ruffles. Lampshade, party of one.  


Amy.  Two words come to mind.  Fruity Pebbles.  


Penelope.  I know it is vintage and intentional, but it looks a little like a wedding cake topper.  I can't quite deal with the placement of your part either. Love the swoop-y bangs, but usually in just one direction, not two.

And, the worst dressed award goes to....

Jessica.  Ugh.  Is it a toga?  Is it a tube?  Why are we trying to tuck additional fabric into the top and cinch it in at the waist?  You can't see in this picture, but she had a closed-toe black suede heel on. Not super appropriate for spring, especially with an creamy-white dress.  Could we at least get a slit or something to allow for some movement?  And I think she did her hair in the car on the way over...


Now we're getting to the good stuff :)  

Natalie.  Best color of the night, and you found the right tailor.  That fit is amazing.  Loved the little splash of sparkle on the bodice underneath that draping.  Beautiful.  


And best dressed of the evening goes to....

Taraji!  Loved everything about it!  Starting with her haircut, which is so stinking cute :)  The necklace was a perfect proportion for her dress, and that color was beautiful on her skin tone!  Amazing layering, cute little train, and a red purse to finish the look! Love a pop of color!  Congratulations.....as if you care what I think!



3 comments:

Heather Ling said...

100% agree on all counts! <3 Natalie's dress!

Do you read gofugyourself.com? I think you'd enjoy it if you don't already know about it. :)

Laurie said...

I've been waiting for this post. You're hilarious.

Liane said...

I think I will bump Anne Hathaway's Dress to second place and put Natalie's first. I heart Rodarte.